I have never questioned my identity, only can I transition and still lead a normal life.
A revelation to myself was that I have never led a normal life. So wrapped up in anxiety, low self esteem, body dysmorphia etc. Also all the secrecy. My sister-in-law said she feels strange that after all these years, she doesn't fully know me. That leads into another area of hiding personality traits, acting manly, for some even pursuing manly work or hobbies all to hide ourselves. That is not normal!
I don't think we can ever lead a truly normal life (if such a thing exists). Even if I managed perfect transition, I could never be a mother to my own children.
I'm still way of being able to give any sound advise, I'm relatively at the beginning.
But what I have learned is that when you let go, let go of what you perceive you should be, accept you are transgender and that there is nothing wrong with that. Embrace being yourself, well I for one felt right.
I'm full of doubt, but not doubt in who I am, only doubt in how I can make this happen successfuly. That doubt is driven by fear, fear of being different and that fear is nearly always far worse than the actuality.
Someone asked me just before I came out to my family, what if you change your mind or transition isn't for you?
My answer is, I am transgendered, always have been always will be. I want my family to know who the real me is. I could no longer go on living the lie, it wasn't a risk to me, the risk was doing nothing.
Normalcy is a myth. Trying to achieve it drives us crazy.
