Thank you Eryn!!! Yes, being male comes with responsibilities and stress that can be difficult even for cis-gendered males, but for someone who is trans, and has a partial or complete female identity, this can be a total nightmare.Originally Posted by Eryn
Personally I think the gender binary created by patriarchy has created a nightmare situation for both sexes. Lots of cis-gendered women resented their roles back in the 60s, and still do in many parts of the world. Lots of cis-gendered men resent their roles today. Why does this happen? Becuase even cis-gendered men and women are not 100% male or female. We all have a little of the opposite gender's energy in us, and all of us have at least a small amount of desire to express the opposite every once in a while. If you're TG or TS, then sticking to gender binary can be a completely awful experience. And even if you transition, having to conform to the gender role of your true gender can still be difficult.
I think lots of cross-dressers have at least a partial female identity. I don't think we take on female names and try to pass as women just to wear women's clothes. There are some people who actually will happily be a dude in a dress. Either way, whether we're trying to pass as female or be a dude in a dress, there is lots of stigma to it.
I have a question for everyone, and maybe this is worth starting another thread. If you could just be a "dude in a dress" and use your male name, keep the beard, no wig or forms, and not be stigmatized for it, or not care if you're being stigmatized for it, would you do it? If you answer yes, then you're probably a male identified CD who would happily wear women's clothes sometimes. If you answer no, then you probably have a partial female identity. Even if you have a partial female identity, your core identity could still be male, which is different from being dual gender, bigender, androgynous, or a MTF TS.
I have one major issue. It's not being stigmatized for being CD, TG, or TS, it's not being clocked, it's men don't cry or men don't ask for help or men have to be macho or aggressive. My biggest issue is on a male privilege thread four months ago, I posted a viewpoint on male privilege that essentially stated that males and female both have advantages and disadvantages, and I got stomped on brutally by someone who told me that my viewpoint is that of a privileged white male. Just because I was assigned male at birth, it doesn't even matter if I identify as female or transition, I have no right to any opinion other than men have it FAR easier than women. This is essentially sexism in reverse. So if women do get the short end of most sticks, the one that any cis-gendered male or other male assigned at birth (including MTF TS) get is not being allowed to complain about how hard it is to be a man. At least cis-gendered females can complain how being a woman sucks and not get ridiculed for it. If men complain about their role, then you're labeled a chauvinist, insensitive, douchebag, pervert, creep, and at the very best, gay or sissy. God, I'm gonna talk about this in therapy tomorrow.
I want to add another analogy. California has the best weather in the world. People who live anywhere else would consider California, especially SoCal, to be paradise. Yet I hear far more complaints about the weather from Southern Californians. I once remember a TV show where a couple of cops from L.A. went to NY and it was raining and one of the NY cops called them L.A. sissies. As much as it bugs me about how L.A. people complain about the weather, and how L.A. people have no freakin idea about how bad the weather is elsewhere, L.A. people have every right to complain about the weather because to us 60 degrees and rain sucks, even though 60 degrees and rain would be called spring in other places. And for our best weather in the world, we have the worst traffic. Ask anyone who drove on the 405, 101, or other freeways today, L.A. traffic really does suck. So who has it worse, L.A. or everywhere else. We have our traffic, and other places have their weather. And we in L.A. love to complain about weather and traffic, as do people who live anywhere else.
P.S. Yes both men and women have to deal with weather and traffic. And both men and women love to complain about the weather and traffic.
