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Thread: Mind games?

  1. #1
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Mind games?

    Lately I've been getting a little worried since I've been feminizing my body, nothing drastic, hair removal for years(shave and epilate) now I sugar wax, I've allways had my long hair now I obsess over it, keep my nails longer than most males and clear polished, I even feel bad when they are not polished, a daily night time face wash and night cream, I only use Dove products for my skin(deep moisture body wash)and moisturizer, my skin is so smooth now, I eat healthy and take vitamins for my skin and hair health, all these things just seemed to happen with out any conscious thought and now I'm pondering getting my ears pierced and maybe a refresher course on make-up, I've even shaped my brows somewhat and trimmed them, I've allways under dressed in one form or another but all these things seem to feel so natural just as my movements and mannerisms, when did this all start,where will it end? I know I'm male and want to remain male I'm to old to be going thru a phase and past my mid life crisis. Has anyone heard of this situation before? I'ts not like I can't go back to being "rough" again but I really don't want to. Any thoughts anyone?
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  2. #2
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    Thoughts?

    You have been a member of THIS forum... for... 40 months now!

    The "good" news is that "Progress is Inevitable" is a lie. A Forum Myth.

    The "bad" [?] news is that "it" [progress] is highly likely.

  3. #3
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Sorry I forgot.

  4. #4
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    No need to be sorry FA! It's just the Nature of the beast here. Most are powerless pitted against the swirling mists of the omnipotent Pink Fog and ...eventually... succumb. You are in good company here and will never have to worry about rowing alone.

    "Most" beasts. Same as what happens with "the passing years" to MOST CDers. The dresses get longer, the heels shorter and the Os less frequent and "blending" becomes the driving force. And... the more likely they are to adopt the "blending" is THE correct way to CD attitude.

  5. #5
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Mind Games are games between two or more people unless you're playing mind games with yourself . Sounds more like an obession with more than just the clothing. Maybe you need to step back an analyze yourself or find a counselor to help you sort it out.

    But I think the closer we get to retirement age, the more we want to enjoy the rest of our lives doing what we really want to. You can go through whatever phase you want at any age.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  6. #6
    Silver Member Annaliese's Avatar
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    Allisa, I am going through the same thing, I am 60 soon to to 61, I decided to let it be, this is who I am, it much more work to be rough as you put, so why not be your self enjoy your this time.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feminin Allisa View Post
    Any thoughts anyone?
    I've been kind of going through the same thing lately... I've been growing my hair out, I've pierced my ears and I take care of my skin a lot more obsessively than most guys.

    I sometimes wonder though, if the urge to CD, and the urge to feminize, at least to the degree you've mentioned, isn't partially just a desire to feel good about yourself, or to feel like you're taking care of yourself; treating yourself well.

    Men are socialized to not supposed to care about these things, and yet, some of us do. I like my hair long, it looks better to me, I like how twirling it between my fingers feels, yet, I don't think I'm necessarily headed inevitably to transition. (At the same time, I'm not foolish enough to think that that's impossible either.)

    So... I dunno... Maybe some of this is an outlet for you to be good to yourself?

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Allisa,
    Nothing wrong in looking after yourself, you are allowed to look smooth skinned and well manicured.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  9. #9
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    Hi Allisa, The big question is, How far do you want to go??
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  10. #10
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Blue Orchid, I think that's what worries me. I reach a point then I find myself doing something else.

  11. #11
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    For me... I was looking for my true self. I did not understand why I did what I did but I need to find where my journey was going. What was my goal? Do I want to live as a woman? Do I want to abandon my male life? Am I feeling something else? What are my feelings?

    These questions and more I looked to answer in my life. I read all I could about Transsexuals. I read about transition. And I read as much as possible on Transgender persons. I talked to trusted friends who knew me, know they would tell me the raw truth, and asked what they thought. That journey took many years of reading and soul searching has led me to what I do today. That has helped me feel comfortable in my own body and feel normal.

    My advise... is to ask yourself some similar questions. Do you feel like your true self? Do you feel comfortable in your own body? Take that journey for yourself. If you can afford it get a gender counselor to help you with this. It will help clear away the confusion and answer questions you may have. It will take time... Let it. Give yourself plenty of time to think about every aspect of what you feel and what you want to feel.

    You may never know the why, as we all would like to know, but at least you will find what will make you happy every day and comfortable in your own body.
    Don't suppress who you are inside your heart. Let the world know how special you really are. Don't forget to smile as you share. It will come through in your beautiful words.

    Your Sister/Brother,
    Debbie/Steve

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