I can only describe some of my conversations with my wife and hope that this helps you. I also find that in these discussions I need to tell my wife that I appreciate her understanding and I reassure her that I love her and always will. She comes first.

I tell her that I am a man and I am happy being a man. I refuse to adopt a female name, or change my personality when I cross-dress. However cross-dressing does release a host of pleasant sensations. When I cross-dress I feel happy, relaxed, and the stress of the world seems far away. It is sensual in a sexy way, but I don't cross-dress simply because it is a sexual fetish - it is more than that. I have been attracted to cross-dressing for as long as I can remember. My earliest recollections go back to when I was 3-4 years old and that had nothing to do with sex.

I believe that what is going on is all in my brain. My brain is hard wired to respond to cross-dressing by releasing a host of neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters include: (1) Dopamine, which is the driver responsible for gratification, the anticipation of gratification, and is also associated with the behavior of desire, (2) Serotonin, which produces sensations of well-being, reduces stress and makes us feel happy and (3) Oxytocin, which reduces aggression, promotes bonding, social empathy, trust and love. There are probably other neurotransmitters but these are the main ones. It is interesting to note that our brains may be hard-wired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female, and these same neurotransmitters are also associated with our brain's response to sex.

I am not NOT trying to be someone else. I will not accept a female name and do not use female pronouns to describe myself in drag. I am just a man who finds that wearing women's clothing makes me happy. It does this because my brain is hard-wired this way. The sensations I experience are not imaginary. I am not delusional. The sensations are very real and are biological, caused by the release of specific neurotransmitters. I have no desire to be a woman full time. I am happy being a man and I appreciate the virtues of manhood.