I wish I was a woman. A beautiful woman like you see on the street or in a magazine. I want to have that body. The soft skin, the delicate features. The pleasant demeanor of a dignified society girl. The free spirit of a tanned, blonde surfer girl. The experience of estrogen-filled teens becoming women. Where clothes, makeup, and other feminine trappings are natural to me, to my body, to my psyche. To look at the sun on a warm summer day as drops of sweat glisten on my svelte figure as I glide casually along the boardwalk. A dream of dreams. But it will never happen. I can never be that girl. Even with SRS and FFS I will never be her. Do I want to "become" a woman? No. But I wish I born one. Alas, I'll never be an astronaut either. But I can dream. Is this folly? Is this an exercise in futility? Probably. But these thoughts exist. I don't know why. I don't think I ever will.