Quote Originally Posted by Jaclyn View Post
I'm a landlord of a duplex and live in the side furthest from the driveway. I would have to walk past my tenants front door and living room window to get to my car. Although I haven't ever left the safety of my home yet, my wife and I have been talking about it. I don't see how I'm going to get out.
I've always been envious of people who are able to first except themselves and second not worry about what others say or think. How do they do it?

Jackie
Jackie's post hits close to home for me in terms of her situation, envy of those who go out, and the question of how they do it. I'm always leery of giving advice about these situations because every situation is unique and every person's risk tolerance varies. So disclaimer in place, this is how I do it.

I remember dozens of times where I spent hours getting ready and, at that crucial moment, deciding to stay in because the neighbors were outside. One day my wife sighed and said, "Put on your big girl panties and get your butt out there! Your family loves you. Why does it matter what they think? They probably already don't like you anyway." That last part was a joke. Wasn't it? No matter because she was right. Here I was, a grown man (albeit a grown man in a dress) deciding that I couldn't leave my own home over what people, who are effectively irrelevant to my life, MIGHT think IF they saw me. Really think about that for a moment. Why do we give control of our lives to strangers, family, and co-workers? Why is it better to have a smiling face in our lives if that smile turns to disgust and we are told that this one facet of ourselves erases ALL possible positive elements?

So, that day I did put on my big girl panties, held my head up, and walked out the door. Nearly 20 years later I can unequivocally state that the freedom I gained in that momentary decision has covered every whispered rumor, every disapproving look, every shouted threat, and every lost relationship.

On top of that when we assume that someone will have a problem with us are we not judging them in the same way we ourselves don't wish to be judged? Worried about the church ladies? Well, I'm a church lady and I would be proud to be your neighbor. Worried that someone will ask if you are a guy? Smile and say, "Not at the moment." Worried that a pack of teenagers called you out? Give 'em an exaggerated twirl and say, "yeah, but don't I look good?" All of these situations have happened to me and more. I'm still standing because I never underestimate the power of confidence and the capacity of humans to be decent.

The question I ask myself is: If person A finds out, how will my life TRULY be impacted? Honestly, your neighbors are already gossiping about you; may as well brighten their day with something REALLY juicy. In fact, after two decades I actually prefer that people know as soon as possible. That way I know if they are worthy of ME!