@Cara_Lacey and @sometimes_miss

I don't think that everybody out there thinks we're nuts. I think that most people are too busy minding their own business to even care what we're wearing, and that the majority of people when we interact with them, like with a cashier or sales associate, likely they don't have opinions on us and will be swayed by our behavior.

With that said, there is real transphobia out there. But I think the people who are truly transphobic are in the minority, and it's just that when they do something to us, whether it's misgender us, call us tranny or dude in a dress, laugh at us, give us the cold shoulder, fire us from our jobs, and murder us, their actions leave a long lasting impression on us emotionally, not to mention can ruin us financially or end our lives.

But I honestly think that most people don't really care either way. I think that the level of transphobia also varies from place to place.

I do think that people who are transphobic will sometimes try to show social etiquette, political correctness, and abide by laws to protect us, even though they secretly hate us. But I honestly don't think that most people think we're nuts and are talking behind our backs all the time. I honestly think there are more people who think the Southern Baptists are nuts and talk behind their backs all time. My family consists of three of them (well, two of them more often). There are people who think that if you speak in tongues - yes even born again Christians - who think you're nuts or even possessed by the devil. I'm not kidding you here. I think more people think Christian fundamentalists are nuts than think we're nuts. There are probably some who think both Christian fundamentalists and TG people are nuts.

In general, a few ignorant people are the ones who create all the trouble. Not just with the TG community, but in life in general. Even if you go to a crime ridden neighborhood, most people aren't going to shoot you. Most people there probably are non violent. A few are and they can end your life if you are unlucky enough to cross their path, and this is why we avoid those kind of neighborhoods. But I don't think that most people who live there are criminals, but rather economically underprivileged people who cannot afford to live anywhere better.

I think we pass way too much judgment on the cis-gendered world. Not everyone hates us. I don't even think that most hate us. The few that do hate us cause most of the damage to us. Remember, it takes only one person to laugh and say "look at that dude in a dress" to potentially ruin our day, if we let it ruin our day. We don't have to let it ruin our day. It takes one idiot to murder a TG, and one idiot to fire you from your job. If you lost your job because of being TG, that doesn't mean that everyone there hates you. It was probably one or two people who hate you.

@Nicole_Scott and @Zooey

There is a difference between going over the top and dressing inappropriately. I believe that the only truly inappropriate clothes are those which make you uncomfortable (too hot, too cold, too tight, struggling to walk in stiletto heels), and those clothes that are too skimpy and show the private parts or too much cleavage. Showing a little cleavage is okay. Wearing knee length dresses and skirts, and those dresses or skirts that go 3-5 inches above the knee are okay too. If you wish to go shorter, than that's your perogative. Wearing stockings is okay too, as it is okay to go bare legged, to wear ankle length dresses, or to wear jeans.

I agree with what Nicole said about how GG's do the same thing and wear "inappropriate" clothing and it doesn't make other GG's look bad. I think the same applies to CDers or TSes. I would err on the side of dressing more conservatively if going on a job interview or to work (if TS or full time CDer).

I'm just a crossdresser with a style that's different than yours and I like to go out to enjoy the evening, as you do.
I am a TS who happens to wear a different style than yours, and I get complimented on my outfits all the time.

I believe that whatever you wear, wear it with confidence, and behave with dignity. If you do so than you are setting a good example for the TG community.

@Leslie - It is not just about wearing any particular items of clothing, but also how well put together your outfit is. I agree that wearing a good quality wig that looks like natural hair will look drastically better than wearing some cheap wig that looks too wiggy, or some wig that might look well on someone else but not on you. This is why I overemphasize trying on wigs in person before you buy. Because a good quality wig will cost you $200 plus tax. While if you make a mistake buying a top or a skirt or a dress for $10-20 from Target or Ross, you've wasted less money on your mistake. Also I think it is important to know the return policy and be prepared to return your item, if it is returnable, if it doesn't look good or fit you.

I don't believe in just wearing any old item off the racks. When I buy clothes, I try them on and try to get a sense of how well they might look on me. Now that I shop en femme (I am full time TS, so I am biased, but any CDer who has a working wardrobe can venture out en femme, go shopping, and try on clothes with your wig and makeup to see how they look.) I try on clothes to see how they look on me before I buy them. I use my eyes, feel, and intuition to decide if something looks good on me or not. When I am mixing and matching clothes and accessories at home, I use the same three senses to decide if an outfit works or not.

Fashion sense doesn't come over night. But practice makes perfect, and you can develop it. If you learn to follow your own intuition, you will discover what looks and feels great on you. And if you are happy with what you see in the mirror, and how the clothes feel on you, than you have an outfit that works and are ready to go wear it with confidence.

As for fetishes, I agree that wearing skimpy outfits, sissy maid outfits, or Santa's elf outfits, are generally out of place outside of a fetish ball. Save dressing like a hooker for the tranny bar. But I believe that we can still dress pretty and stylish, and yes that includes wearing the holy grails of crossdressing - dresses/skirts, stockings, heels, and makeup - and still put together an outfit very nicely and go make a good impression in public. Skinny jeans can work too. There is no need to limit yourself to jeans and t-shirt just because you think everyone else is wearing that. You heard me, I said because "you think" everyone else is wearing that. If you take a good look around you there is a wide variety of styles in which GGs dress, and include pants or jeans, skirts or dresses, heels, sneakers, flats. Makeup, no makeup. Stockings, bare legs. Long dresses, short dresses. You name it, some GG is wearing every style out there. Just own it, and be confident, and you'll be fine.