CD and TG connections?

[ReineD]

Yes, Isha, there seems to be a core group of people here who enjoy trying to convince non-TSs who consistently post in the CD section, that they might be TS, instead of placing their focus on their own transitions. I have no idea why, maybe because they feel they need company along their journeys? Or maybe it is as Samantha says, that sometimes a person's view may also be simple rationalization of their own place in the world?

In any case, I have an anecdote that fits this situation to a T (pun intended).

A friend of mine (not CD, not trans in any way) is near retirement. His wife is from the Philippines and it has long been a dream of theirs to retire in Hawaii and use the place as a base between the Philippines and mainland US. They have vacationed in Hawaii many times and they felt the place was idyllic in terms of climate, culture, lifestyle, etc.

So he bought a condo on the big island of Hawaii last winter, with a beautiful view of the ocean.

I saw him last night, he had just come back from a two month stay there. (He teaches and is free in the summer.) He can't stand it and he now wants to sell the condo!! He says there is nothing to do outside of tourist activities, it takes forever to get to the mainland US and the Philippines, everything costs a fortune, he got tired of schlepping groceries, etc, up the elevator into his condo, it is very dark there at night and electricity is expensive so places are dimly lit and it is hard to see, and other things I have forgotten.

It took having lived there as a homeowner and permanent resident, before he was able to look at it differently than as a vacationing visitor. And this man does research for a living!

He says that he feels foolish, that he should have investigated things much more carefully. But, he did! It took him years of going back and forth and looking at all the islands, looking at real estate closely, thinking about traveling to the Philippines and mainland US, before making his decision. The idyllic spot and the price of the condo finally swayed him to buy. I told him that I didn't think he was foolish. Sometimes we really have no idea what something is like until we live it.

I do love what Kelly said, that it behooves everyone here who feel their lives might be happier as women, to stay honest with themselves about how they have always identified privately, so as to not fall into the delusion that they are women. Bridges are burned more easily when a person transitions, than when they buy a condo.