Firstly Mechamoose, thanks for starting your own thread.Originally Posted by mechamoose
I notice that you haven't linked your thread this time to DADT arrangements but I take it you are 'raging at' wives who you see as breaking their wedding vows if they refuse to embrace the additional female identity in the marriage.
The questions you pose are essentially about the CDer and miss the point of a wife. My wife has a much more fundamental need than another girlfriend. She wants and needs the love and nurture of her man who protects and supports her; who treats her like a princess.
It has taken me over 2 years to be in a place that works for my wife and for me. It is a DADT arrangement - she knows I dress and sees signs of it but that's all. Over the two years she has moved from threatening suicide on the basis that she couldn't live with me but can't live without me to yesterday coming across my laundry hanging in a spare bedroom cupboard to dry. All she did was tell me she loves me. Two years ago she would have gone to bed for 24 hours crying.
It did take me 6 months to move past the thought that my wife didn't love me unconditionally. What I now realise is the depth of her love for me that she would overcome her basic instinct of abhorring my dressing. Why would I want to force her to accept anything more? As an aside, I now have far more friends (all female) in my femme life than I have ever had mates in my male life where my wife is my best friend.
As Sara Jessica posted in the other thread: It takes a very special woman to put up with these things to whatever degree they are able, DADT, acceptance, participation. And the woman who for whatever reason is unable to cope with it is no less special. It is what it is.
My hope is that I can provide an alternative to CDers who are faced by the trauma and uncertainty of hiding their CDing from their wives. It doesn't have to be a choice between acceptance/tolerance or divorce. Wives can still love their husbands unconditionally and not want to welcome a third person into their marriage.
