I understand your thought, but I have one caveat: is experience of self a diagnosis of a condition. For me these were two different things.Originally Posted by sarahcsc
It matters little what diagnosis your therapist or whatever forum(s) assign you compared to the diagnosis you assign yourself.
Don't you think?
Love,
Sarah
There are very subtle layers to the experience of my self in the reality of my life. One (and by no means the only) aspect of self experience is the experience of the relationship between I and world. I was born as a girl, which does not mean I knew I was sexed from the earliest conscious moment. My gendered experience of self arise from a conditioned response of the world to my genitals. For me the experience of my body being part of the world was early and very strong because my body lied about my self. My socialization, as a result, was gendered male. The clash between this and my experience of self was evident as early as eight years of age which is the time my consciousness began to be aware of my reproductive reality. I once wrote this:
In unremembered distances
When the first rumblings
Of a world below the belt
Crashed consciousness, I said
I am who I am
Yet the World said
It’s not a world but you!
surrounded by so little
before I saw the abyss in every direction
and that world, a part of World but not me;
Truth told I, but body belied
KMD (c)
Experience of self is a living reality not a diagnosis. We cannot diagnose ourselves because the criteria for diagnosis are set against an objective standard. I was diagnosed as a moderate intensity transsexual or Type 5 HBS transsexual against criteria of not my own making. The criteria however, while including DSM descriptors and conditions, go far beyond just that.
The real diagnosis of the reality if self does not come from the medical style diagnosis but rather how the reality of experience of self is witnessed by the world in which you live. While this a confirmatory process it is the most accurate than anything else including our self experience which is always subject to self delusion.
Anyway - what do you think Sara?
