I have two stories for when I was crossdressing. I my wife didn't care as long, as she said , I didn't embarrass her in public. She bought me clothing on occasion and she knew I wasn't Mr Macho when we met. When she was fading from teh cancer and I was stressed out a lot she would often tell me to "go put on a skirt".
My GF knew the whole time we were together and she not only supported it but encouraged it...as long as I remained within the realm of looking like a real woman and not a drag queen or hooker (which wasn't and issue since I don't dress as either one). Just before she died she, I had intentionally not dressed because I was more worried about what others thought of HER when we went out and didn't want her to be the object of scrutiny, she asked why Lori didn't come around more often.
I guess my major point here is, life is too short for either person to not be happy. I thought I had forever. I didn't and now I look back at all the time wasted worrying about what I was wearing. I know there is no way for wives to read this and understand but even if you are not thrilled, you should be supportive. For the CDs the same thing, don't be selfish but know she (as one person said) doesn't get what's in your head and try and compromise. You only get so long together (if they are your life mate) don't waste it on trivializes
