I think some sort of acceptance is common (even if you don't think she knows...she knows and if she doesn't say anything doesn't mean you are getting away with it). What we see here as far as the people whose spouse is unaccepting is more the phenomenon or the squeaky wheel. If everything is good at home, you don't see posts in the other areas of this forum. So I am not surprised at the various levels of acceptance here. As Jennifer said it is more communication than anything. Being as upfront as you can be is what works
