Forgive because I am definitely not closeted. BUT:
I keep no secrets from my SO. It wasn't easy mostly because she saw more in CDing than I do. So we had to work through her fears to get to the facts that I had been saying all along. Actually I asked her before I dressed the first time.
After what I went through I can understand the reasoning in not telling your SO. For two years my life was HELL. All for imaginary "sins" I never even would consider. But now my life is better than it was before CDing. And it really had nothing to do with CDing. CDing was just the catalyst for the discussions that had to take place. Now my SO is happy and therefore I can be happy.
If you do choose to reveal yourself, do so compassionately. Make SURE she knows before you tell her about CDing, that she is important to you and why.
My heart goes out to those who are closeted. I may not be (and it cost me dearly to not be) but I certainly do understand.
