PaulaQ - I'm happy you've offered a handful of clarifying posts, because your first one came off as dismissive to me. Actually, it was a bit offensive to me. Your follow ups have helped me understand better, so thanks for taking the time to continue this important conversation.
To put the pump on the other foot, imagine if I were to say, "Transexuals are fortunate because they are always confident of their gender. Crossdressers are the ones who struggle because their gender shifts constantly." I imagine you might react negatively to that because I'm dismissing your history, your struggle and your triumphs. As a crossdresser, your initial post swept me aside as easily.
I understand you're still incredulous, but there are days I despise the maleness I see in the mirror. There are times where I embrace it. There are times when I'm dressed that I connect so intimately with the female image I've created that I weep when I'm forced to remove it. There are times when putting on make up is a total drag (pun intended).
What I'm sure about is I have a strong "female-ness" about me, and in the same way you had suppressed it for years, I do the same now, except when it's OK not to. (I'm working on it, though; trust me!)
Fortunately, you now can live one authentic life, but unfortunately, I spend too much time feeling as though I'm living two inauthentic lives.
And to be honest, I like who I am, but I definitely do NOT lead an authentic life. I admire PaulaQ more than I can say because she does live under her terms. It's an incredibly impressive thing, and I'd guess those who live that way are in the minority.
