The difference between a CD and a TS

[PaulaQ]

your first one came off as dismissive to me. Actually, it was a bit offensive to me.
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I imagine you might react negatively to that because I'm dismissing your history, your struggle and your triumphs. As a crossdresser, your initial post swept me aside as easily.

Hey, I can appreciate how my OP sounded, and I sincerely apologize for the dismissive tone, unintentional though it was. And believe me, I take the history and experiences of the CDers here just as seriously as I do my own. Your experiences are just as valid as mine, and I know many people here are in quite a bit of personal pain because of their gender - however they choose to define it or identify it.j

I understand you're still incredulous, but there are days I despise the maleness I see in the mirror. There are times where I embrace it. There are times when I'm dressed that I connect so intimately with the female image I've created that I weep when I'm forced to remove it. There are times when putting on make up is a total drag (pun intended).

Actually I can believe you feel this way, very easily. The feelings you describe looking in the mirror are totally relatable to me. I didn't get tired of female presentation - it's who I am - but I can relate to everything else you say, Tina.

What I'm sure about is I have a strong "female-ness" about me, and in the same way you had suppressed it for years, I do the same now, except when it's OK not to. (I'm working on it, though; trust me!)

Have you considered that you might possibly be transsexual?

And to be honest, I like who I am, but I definitely do NOT lead an authentic life. I admire PaulaQ more than I can say because she does live under her terms. It's an incredibly impressive thing, and I'd guess those who live that way are in the minority.

Thanks, but I'm really no big deal. There are, unfortunately, costs to being authentic, at least in my case. I hope you are able to find a path to an authentic life for yourself, whatever that might be.

I think the difference, and the only difference that really matters to me, is internally.

I understand the basic point is that TS feel that they were always a woman, or that they need to have their outsides match their insides.

Yes, I think the key thing - and the point people missed from my OP - was that it's really a question of identity. A TS identifies as a woman, and feels the need for gender transition. A CD doesn't feel either of those things.

By this regards and definition that TS are trapped in the wrong body, and CDers are not. I would say that there are many CDer on this forum who present as a woman a substancial amount of the time, or wish to be able to present as a woman 100% of the time. I always get confused if the CDers who live full time as women are TS or CD.

I'd count them as TS - there are no-hormone, non-op TSes. My boyfriend was one. He is the most masculine person I've ever met, and he was well before he ever started T. He has lived as a man his entire life - basically since he was old enough to buy his own underwear, which he did with money from his allowance and after-school job. He started T last year - but other than dropping his already deep voice even lower, it hasn't done much else. There wasn't much else to do. Even without T, he made the Marlboro man look effeminate - no exaggeration. He knew from day one that he was a man. He never let anyone else define him as anything but a man.

I know of others, who may have gradually socially transitioned, staying longer and longer as the opposite gender until life as their birth sex simply made no sense anymore.

I know some who can't medically transition, because of health reasons.

I'd consider all such people to be TS - or at least in transition in the sense of social transition. And to me, social transition is by far the hardest. Medical transition is no walk in the park, but it should be based on the needs of the individual.

Anyway, if someone tells me they are a woman, and lives as one, or is in the process of transitioning to one, they are TS as far as I'm concerned.