Hi Red, welcome to the forum.
I read your story with great interest. Thank you for sharing it and for allowing us into your world.
I can relate to some of your issues- anger management has always been a problem for me, and I did find that embracing my feminine side eased that considerably. My situation with my wife is similar- she's ok with the CDing in theory, but somehow I still don't feel comfortable dressing in front of her and have never done so, not more than occasionally panties or a bit of lingerie. It saddens me not to be able to share with her something so important and pleasurable to me, bt for now that's just the way it is.
You seem kind of harsh on yourself. You've devoted an awful lot of energy to putting yourself down, haven't you? Indeed we are our own worst enemies. It's good that you've accepted your cross-dressing side, and good that you've found this forum. Further self-acceptance is your best hope for happiness, as it is for all people.
Allowing your feminine side to breathe the air is healthy, constructive, vital. Never mind what society thinks- they're wrong about almost everything anyway. Most people spend their lives trying to blend in, trying to please others, trying to avoid disapproving looks. We're taught that life is a job, serious work, and we'd darn well better behave, save money and not wear shocking pink unless we're a 6 year-old girl or a hooker.
At least on this forum you will not be mocked, scolded or rejected regardless of what you choose to wear. You are free to be anything you like here- within some reasonable guidelines- and if you look at the images in the picture gallery you will see that many of us cheerfully push the limits of fashion on a regular basis.
You have a rest-of-your-life menu in front of you. What are you going to choose?
Hugs and a very large slice of gooey chocolate cake, with cream,
Nikki
