Quote Originally Posted by AllieSF View Post
As to having the spouse/SO join this site, if they have decent amount of common sense and can talk about issues in a mature manner, then yes, come to the site and see the real world of us trans members, all the good and not so good, depending on whose point of view. If they are sensitive to everything, or refuse to give their trans spouse a chance, then they should stay away from here, because, as a famous movie line goes, "They can't handle the truth!". That truth may be far from their worst fears, but they will probably never learn that simple relationship saving fact.
Actually, there are more threads here that point or hint at the sexual aspect of the CDing, (or the thrill of it even if words like "fetish" or "sexual" are not used) than people who are transitioning. We can't put much stock into the words "I feel I am a woman", unless it is accompanied by concrete steps to body modification and presenting as a woman in one's daily life to people that one knows. Half the CDers in this forum refer to themselves as "women" when they are dressed and so these words have a wide spectrum of meaning, like anything else.

Back to what scares wives about the CDing ... the idea that their husbands don't need them, because they're having so much more fun CDing. Wives also get upset oveer seeing CDers flirt with each other with picture posting and comments. They wonder if their own husbands are attracted to other CDers.

So it's not just the transitioning ... and I suppose when you add it all up, it makes sense that marriages are simpler when crossgender expression doesn't come into it. It takes a LOT of reassurance from a husband to a wife to make it work, and this just takes time.