As I have pointed out previously. You have a need to express yourself much more than you can. Your spouse's reluctance to embrace this part of you is causing distress. You know yourself better than anyone. You'll need to dig deep, but I think you already know what you need to do to find relief. The elephant in the corner is the loss of your marriage. You may find that having greater freedom to express your inner soul will decrease your desire. If you find the desire to let yourself free get more intense. I think you know that answer also. Ask yourself this question. If all external factors were off the table and it was only you. How would you like to interact with society in 5 years?
You are looking for validation from your spouse and from what you have posted. It will most likely never happen and if it does, the years it will take to gain that acceptance and validation may be more than you are willing to wait. I understand why your therapist didn't take your wife's issues in consideration. She is there to help you. For you to gain relief will mean some serious thought about the state of your marriage. I know that sounds harsh. But the reality of GD when it reaches the boiling point. The only relief are actions that benefit you. You can do what is necessary for your own well being and inner peace. Or continue to suffer in an effort to hold the status quo. I am afraid in your case you can't have both.