I am quite sure you have stopped reading all answers as there are so many, but to me, it is rather simple. You should talk to your children now before they get to know about it from someone else. I think they will understand and accept you. Especially if you promise to keep on being cautious and respect them if the for instance don't like you to be dressed when they have friends at home.
I am not far from that situation myself, but in my case, I am the one that is thinking of leaving my wife. She doesn't accept me as I am and that leaves me thinking, well, if she doesn't love me that much, what will I really loose if we were to split up? Maybe you don't see it that way, but maybe you will when you have had some time to think about it?
