Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
Ok. This may be too simplistic, but there is one thing you can say that no one in your family can argue with. You can simply tell them that although you know this is not common, you do enjoy presenting (or dressing) as a woman. If they ask why, the response can be that they should explain to you why THEY have the preferences they have. Can anyone explain why they prefer art over playing sports, or why they obtain such deep satisfaction over doing anything they love to do?

... I just read Pamela's post, who said the same thing in a lot fewer words. lol
The other day I read a post that itemized the concerns with telling family members in a very succinct and brief way. Unfortunately I can't remember who wrote it or what thread it was in. It is nice to think that they will all be understanding or as some have said if they can't accept it, it is their problem. However in the family dynamic, you have no way of knowing what the reaction will be, and once the cat is out of the bag, there is no way to put it back in. It is a tremendous risk and one that could possibly tear a family apart. As you have implied, if you try to explain it as a gender issue, their mind immediately goes to what has been in the news lately over the Bruce Jenner case. If you emphasise the CD aspect, they think of kinky and possibly perverse motives. If you just want to express your femininity, is it necessary to dress up with kinky items like breast forms? I have too much to lose by disclosing without knowing much more about everyone's beliefs and feelings.

My own experiences have taught me that people can be very accepting and understanding of others, regardless of such things as sexuality, identity, race etc. and yet feel a level of discomfort when those issues are close to home. Some examples: My wife and I, before retirement, operated a professional practice and had a large number of clients from the LGB community. These folks were like close friends, and the LGB factor was totally a non issue. However, when watching a movie or TV show involving gays, we both sense a feeling of discomfort if there are kissing scenes, and will fast forward through them. Similarly, my wife while quite accepting of my crossdressing, has expressed discomfort at knowing that CD's were using the female facilities when we attended CD events and were out in the general public. Many people can accept their spouse or a friend being CD or TG, but have no desire to actually see them so dressed as it would be somewhat repulsive to them.

Not knowing the possible reactions, I am not willing to risk the possible damage to my relationship with my family. It is human nature to want to be loved and respected, especially when you have grandchildren who admire you. Sometimes the simplest thing can drive wedges between people.

Thanks for your insightful contributions to this thread from the "other" perspective.

Veronica