Public Restroom

[heatherdress]

I am glad that we have legislation in many places to protect transgender people and their rights, even if it is confusing and upsetting to some. It does foster awareness and progress. I also apologize for pushing this discussion further, but I am driven by a personal passion that might be hard to both explain and understand.

We believe we are tolerant, knowledgeable and caring on this site. Yet there is a subtle but insensitive attitude towards others which is embedded in this simple rest room rights issue. Most responses just look at this issue from their point of view - they, as crossdressers, do not have problems so it is therefore OK. But there seems to be no empathy or understand for the other users who are women.

1 in 3 women are sexually assaulted or abused in their lifetime. If you were sexually assaulted or abused by a man, your life is forever different. You have anxiety, and fears, difficult to explain, the rest of your life. You might be upset, or scared or angry if a man shows up unexpectedly in a room that you felt some sort of personal vulnerability in as well as some sort of protection or isolation - like a rest room they might believe limits use to women only, regardless if there are new laws and progressive attitudes which extend use to men dressed in women's clothes. I am being rather blunt but you do not have to confront a woman in the bathroom to upset her if she has mental issues, or religious beliefs, or personal values which are threatened. You simply have to enter a room she considers her space.

How is impossible to claim to have never upset anyone when using the women's rest room, or caused them fear, just because you you not heard complaints? Those troubled the most would be the last to complain. If you live with anxiety as a former victim or if you love someone who does, you will better understand, but we simply do need to think of the affects of our behavior deeper than making a statement or exercising a right. Sorry for being preachy, but I do feel we can be disrespectful or hurtful without realizing it.

Children are also unfortunate victims of abuse and can also be further troubled or confused. It is similarly impossible to distinguish those who could be troubled and who would not be.

It is nice to think that all transgender people are more sensitive and more caring than everyone else, and that they never hurt anyone. But unfortunately, that may be our own wishful thinking. Transgender people get angry, make mistakes and even hurt others. They are human, too. But you really don't need to analyze transgender behavior characteristics or rest room crime statistics to simply be more aware that the mere presence, itself, of entering a woman's rest room can be upsetting, painful or troubling to some, and we do need to be careful as others have suggested.