DADT.... That is not necessarily a bad thing. If- the CDer agrees to this type of arrangement, then their partner may not have any particularly ill feeling, or any real need for "therapy". The CDer who wants more than a DADT, but their partner does not, just having the non CD partner get therapy may not resolve much. It could just be, depending on the partner, how long after a relationship has been established, how it came to be found out or told.... So many variables besides just this feminine thing. How strong is the feminine aspects of the CDer? How much do they want or need?
My wife has told me several times that the feminine part of this is ONLY a part of her struggle. Just as much, probably more comes from a feeling of betrayal. Lack of or broken trust, a feeling of not knowing who they are really with. What lies may have been told. How long they were told. Those issues belong in the therapy session if there is a need for one a lot more than getting over it of the feminine aspects.
Lastly, the non CD partner is wired as individually as anyone else is. Some will have a greater ability to deal with it than others. Women who are into the strong masculine type of men are likely to have a harder time dealing with it all, and it might just be that a DADT is the best they are capable of. THAT is not a bad thing, or wrong IMO. If DADT keeps a marriage or LTR intact and healthy in the other aspects, best to leave it alone. It is not the end of the world.
