Hey Pam, in my case it's knowing your SO would never go to a therapist that I deal with. My last two sessions with my gender therapist have mostly dealt with my wife's set in stone views on my dressing. The therapist and I have discussed to no end on how to get my wife to ease off her position. Recently I tried a method the therapist suggested to get my wife to look at a recent photo of Heidi. (Only ones she's seen were from two years ago) the therapist thought this may give my wife a fresh view of Heidi and not the one in her mind. So I showed my wife the scenery photos from my trip to the Erie Gala last month. I then asked if she could look at one more. My wife is no slouch when it comes to a person's motives. Before I could tell here anything else, she said " is it of Heidi?" I said yes. Immediately I got a "no, thank you!" And then I was told that she never wanted to see Heidi in a photo or in person, period! I did the only thing I could do and reassure her that I would follow her wish.
What this all boils down to is if one of the parties is not budging from their beliefs, then you find ways to improve your conditions knowing they are rock solid set. That's how I've handled it. I'll continue to grow as a TG with the knowledge of where my spouse stands on the subject.
