I'm overwhelmed

[Ashley in Virginia]

I'm stuck waiting till Feb for my endo appointment. It's going to be a long 2 months... I'm not sure how to settle down between now and then. I do see the therapist again in January, hopefully that will help.

You are right about getting a plan together. Right now I'm spinning my tires in what ifs and maybes...

I'm really sorry you feel that way.

Do you enjoy your appearance when you are dressed? Is there anything you might change to improve it, and if so, what is it.

I don't care for my appearance much at all. I'm an ugly guy, and not much better looking woman. I do get relief, dressing is calming.... But I don't say I enjoy it, it's a compulsion. I feel like a dumbass doing it because it doesn't make sense to me at all. Maybe I don't allow myself to enjoy it?...

One of the first steps to a positive mindset is to stop the negative language about yourself. You're not weird and you shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed. Look at how many of us are here on this website! You are far from alone. And there is nothing wrong with you. Whatever level you are at is perfectly natural and while you may not want to share it with the world, you should accept it within yourself.

This is a great site with a lot of support, a lot of good advice, and a lot of different perspectives.

Feel at peace sister. Peace of mind counts more than anything and accepting your self for who you are is big part of that.

I've never accepted myself for anything positive. I don't know how to. There not much positive to say, I'm living a lie. Every day I wake up and I feel like a liar. Lying to myself about who I am, lying to the world about who I am... I've been trying forever to be someone I can't be. I'm a miserable jerk.

I know I've made the right step forward, and its a long road ahead. But right now this is how I'm feeling.