Self-acceptance of what, exactly. That you're a crossdresser? A woman? In between? Or maybe you don't know? There's no right or wrong answer, the importance is for you to clarify to yourself who you are and how you want to live. If you feel conflict right now, are you sure it is just because of shame, or is there something deeper causing the conflict (such as being unsure of who you are and your ultimate goals), that is making the decision to move ahead with body-changing hormones stressful. I've looked at the many pics you posted of yourself in the Gallery (you look very nice, BTW), and I'm wondering if you felt ashamed of dressing when you were doing it.Originally Posted by Ashley in Virginia
There are some people in this thread who have already diagnosed you as a transsexual who is needing to begin changing your body from male to female. They may be right. Are you TS and do you want to begin the process of transition? Are you fully familiar with the long-term effects of estrogen, progesterone, and anti-androgens on your body?
If you don't know the answer to any of these questions yet, then maybe you should start getting some answers before doing anything else. Talk to your therapist again, and get a second opinion if you need to, if you leave your therapist's office stressed out. Just give yourself the time you need to figure things out. You're the person who controls the timeline here, no one else.
If the sense of shame revolves around your need to present as a woman (regardless of the label), then have you considered working strictly on that as a first step before you do anything else? How long did you see your therapist before she or he suggested HRT, and what was the basis for the suggestion. Was it to "see" if it would help, or is your therapist under the impression that you want to transition. This thread has gotten very long and I may have missed an earlier clarification.
I just want you to know that everyone here cares about you and what you are going through. If nothing else, keep reaching out for help here and elsewhere. Keep an open mind and you may read something that will ring true at a deep level that will help you to reach a conclusion about what is the right thing to do. When this happens your level of stress should go down (hopefully).
