First of all thank you for your input here it's a treasure. As a way to provide context for my question, I wil share that I've been out to my spouse for 4 years now she found.out after 10 yrs of marrage by finding aink to this site left up on the pc. ) but in a dadt mode of communication, which I hate. I dress every week but only when she's out and the kids are at school (I work from.home). So she knows I dress.then but mostly a bit of make up, or a panty/ bra set mostly due to time constraints. My main question is this ....she still fears I'm gay or will some day wish to transition.and so I think she feels that if she doesn't discuss the topic it will either go away or she at least."would be encouraging it". I've reassured her, we go to couples .and gender conselng and even the therapist has tried to eeassure her but to no avail. She has in some ways become more willing to acknowledge my need to dress but still only brings it up if I purchase something or someth8ing else brings it up. I so want is to be more at ease about it. Would love for instance to be able to say make a fashion comment on someone on say the bachelor show's fashion but i guess bc i've never done it before she's put off by it. Just hate the ackwardness of it all. So do I.bring it up.more? Or just deal.with this being the way it is? Im therapy I've been encouraged to be more self accepting but it's hard to let my gaurd down for fear it makes her uncomfortable.
Thanks,
Amanda
