Perhaps you don't get to keep up with the other threads on the forum. But this subject has been brought up many times before. I understand that the search function doesn't work all that well, so let's go over it again.
First:
Don't you read other people's comments at all? Crossdressing was THE reason my wife divorced me, and I've written that every time we discuss this. It even becomes a topic discussed by many others who've gone through this as well.Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
Now.
I can't speak for everyone, but there are quite a number of us who had stopped crossdressing for a long time, in my case many years, before I started dating my wife to be. I really thought that I had 'beaten it'; that it was just a phase I had gone through. It was in the past, so just like, oh, someone who had killed a hundred of the enemy in a war, it simply wasn't something that I felt I needed to bring up. No one tells their SO everything; we tell what we think we should tell, what we think they need to know. Crossdressing? Something we did in the past? Why burden her with that? I was molested for seven years, should I tell her all about that in detail too? Of course not. At that point, I was perfectly functional normally. I had a good job, I could have sex just as well as anyone else. Things were good. And, had I not lost my job and wound up in turmoil, I'd probably still be married with kids already grown. But things don't always turn out the way we want.
Besides, women don't tell us everything either. They do the same; they tell us what they want us to know (though, my ex didn't tell me stuff either, things she should have, so we're pretty even on the 'what should have been told' list', but of course she didn't see it that way, she, too, thought what she hid wasn't important).
The problem that arises, is that when it's going on, we don't understand what they want to know, and neither the reverse is true either. The problem becomes great when they decide that we deceived them, and what they might have deceived us about isn't of the same importance, so they feel entitled to be more upset than we are, forgetting that each person is the only one who can decide what they, themselves will be upset about.
So there you have it. Just because we erred on what we figured the women would be so upset about, doesn't give them the reason to go ballistic. Everyone makes mistakes, and, we all ARE still the same person they married; we haven't changed. The only change is in how they decide to interpret who and what we are. The change isn't in us. It's in THEM. And they blame us for that. And that isn't fair, either.
