Leigh, I think you need to be pragmatic and have the honest conversation with your wife. Some thing along the lines of," Sweetie, I know you don't like this side of me but it is me. I can make sure you never have to see this side and you do not have to participate in it at all but you have to know its here to stay." And go from there.
I can can tell you that my wife does not "like" my cross dressing but she does not hate it either. It just "is" and she gets that and can accept it and be part of that side of me. Not all wives can do that and we should not expect it. I think your wife gave it the old college try but it didn't work out. Let her know that is ok but neither she nor you can wish it out of existence.
By the way, I also have to disagree with Sherry. Individuals may find new hobbies they do not share with a husband or wife, but that is NOT growing apart. Seperate interests are fine but cross dressing is not an "interest" or "hobby." Perhaps that is something she misunderstands?
