Sorry to read of all the turbulence around you at the moment. I hope it smooths out in time.
Regarding misgendering and the use of your "deadname" you have to give people from your past extra latitude. The image of you is already set in their neural pathways and it's not always done with malice (My gf is TS and faces this frequently.) And in cases where it is meant in disrespect you have to decide if you want to get into that morass -- pro'ly not worth it if you're looking for a clean exit.
I hope it all works out for the best.
