Yikes, Kimberly ... sort it out!
1) You don't need to have sex as a male if you don't want to.
2) You don't need sex to find a partner.
3) USING sex to get a partner is manipulative.
4) Establishing a relationship based on your birth sex, yet intending to transition and not disclosing, is dishonest.
5) Groups can do whatever they want. Don't like one, find another. Don't like any, don't bother.
SRS decisions are intensely personal. I'm not sure who "most members" are, but in fact, most trans people do not have SRS for a variety of reasons.
Focus on what you need to do.
