"the desire never goes away" ...is this actually true?

[bimini1]

My mom used to present me with that same "sugar" analogy. If you know it's bad for you why can't you think about it. If I do "x", it could lead to "y" and is not good. My response was cd is not what I do, it is who I am. Tied into my identity. What I had to learn was that it did not define me, but a part of me.
It's deeper for me than a substance like sugar that goes from the outside in. This is already inside and wants to come out. They said 99% of the people attempt to deny 99% of the truth 99% of the time(ie, we all live in some form of denial about reality), be it survival or whatever.

So it's part of us we are afraid to own.

You can easily become overtly analytical about it until it racks your brain but at the end of the day it boils down to what are you getting out of it as to whether it will continue or not. Any time somebody tells you some absolute like that you have to question it. It is different for everyone of us and it is your own motivations that will determine your destiny with it. These motivations need not be absolute either, they can be be fluent and in a state of perpetual flux as you go thru life things can change.

As you get older and grow you are not the person you were years ago even last year. Just try to go with your own inner vibe and let reality unfold unfettered.

As for Audrey's reply at #55, I also was a big fan of Yvonne's site for CDers. Same thing with Gina Lance of the old GirlTalk magazine. It's like they reach a ceiling. Been there done that nowhere else to go with it. Sometimes I envy these folks, and feel it's not a conscious decision they make, it just happens.

I am fascinated by the extremely public CDers that seem to go down this route. Who was it that used to do the videos, Jessica Who? There was a CD who wrote this book years ago called The Bliss Of Becoming One, name escapes me. Same route, one day she woke up and it was over. No desire to continue. I've come across a few more like that.It could happen to me or you, you just don't know. A girlfriend asked me 20 years ago did I see myself cd in 5, 10 years from there.

I just could not even conceive or wrap my head around there being a time when I no longer did it. Not so much so now. Some progress some digress some get to a point where what is the point in continuing.