I came out to my wife about my CD'ing almost 3 years ago. It's still a work in progress. She barely tolerates it basically. It all came out when she found one of my Cosmo's. I've been reading and collecting Cosmo since I was 14 and have a huge collection which had been secret from her since we've known each other. I hated keeping it secret but was terrified she would reject me or make me get rid of my much loved collection - that indeed would kill me! When she found that Cosmo, all the questions came out - was I gay? (no), did I ever wear women's clothes (yes - some lingerie). She has been quite accepting of my Cosmo collection, but not happy at all with me wearing lingerie. I'm so desperate for her understanding and acceptance, but I am not getting anywhere. I've tried in vain to get her to read articles on cross-dressing - no luck there yet. My wife had a strong religious upbringing. She is not as religious these days, but has very strong beliefs about some things. She brings all this back on herself - sees it as some kind of failing of hers - "Aren't I enough for you?". "You don't need to pretend to be a woman, you're looking at one."
I can't help myself at times and just want her to catch me wearing lingerie. I know it upsets her, but I just desperately want her acceptance. I need her to see the real me. I hope to get her to read up on cross-dressing and hopefully one day she will see that this is something deep inside of me - not something that I can change at all. We may need to go to counselling in the future if this matter does not move forward. We do love each other very much and she knows me more than anyone else on the planet, so hopefully this will work out eventually.
