I dunno about that. Middle aged women don't get hit on all that much either. lolOriginally Posted by Jenniferathome
A middle aged dude, dressed as woman, is probably pretty close to last on the "get hit on" list[/COLOR]
What kills it is middle age.
I dunno about that. Middle aged women don't get hit on all that much either. lolA middle aged dude, dressed as woman, is probably pretty close to last on the "get hit on" list[/COLOR]
What kills it is middle age.
Reine
Wrong. There are men who are highly attracted to trans women. He was probably one of them and attracted to you. If he'd approached you, and you'd accepted, you'd have been a ONS, his guilty secret, objectified and fetishized. He'd probably have hated himself in the morning.A middle aged dude, dressed as woman, is probably pretty close to last on the "get hit on" list[/COLOR]
This isn't super common, but some men really dig trans women, middle aged or not. Sadly, this isn't so true for middle age cis women - ageism, misogyny, and sheer numbers reduces their opportunities. It's not that a Trans woman can expect lots of attention, some of us are very lonely, and while finding a guy may not be so hard, finding one who won't treat you like a piece of meat IS hard. (BTW, there are great odds that even if you'd gotten his number, odds are, he'd have chickened out.)
Ironically, the better you pass, the fewer these opportunities. Men see me as a middle aged woman (which I am), and ignore me too.
My best guess (although the rest of you have offered a lot of other good "best guess" scenarios) is that he either is a CD or has some unexpressed CD urges. Although I've said elsewhere that you look quite credibly feminine to me, Jennifer, I'll accept your certainty that he must have read you as a male in female clothing. So for some reason he singled you out--the only dude in a dress--to make some kind of overture to. And yet he wasn't pushy or overtly sexual. Timid, maybe ... uncertain ... tentative? Wanting something, but afraid to say it explicitly. Sure, he might have had sexual feelings toward you (I admit it, I think I would), but I think it's more likely that he felt that you had something in common with him, and he wanted to express some commonality with you, because he could see that you are comfortable and happy with your place on the gender identity spectrum, and maybe he thought that touching base (or arm) with you might help him understand something about himself, and feel more comfortable about who he is.
and THIS is why I can't get to "he's hitting on me." In the end, of course, we'll never know but back in my days of actually trying to meet women (there were no cell phones back then and people actually had to talk), I would never try several random conversation topics over several visits to that woman. It was kind of swing for the fences and get a hit or strike out....Middle aged women don't get hit on all that much either. lol
What kills it is middle age.
If this guy was trying to hit on me, he's really bad at it. I prefer to think my wife was right and he was just trying to make me feel comfortable because I was the only cross dresser there
I usually find it easy to agree with a lot of the things you say, Jennifer, but I can't go along with you on this one. You're saying some guy in a bar spots a dude in a dress, and says to himself, "Aww, look at that poor crossdressing guy. He must feel so awkward ... I've got go over there and comfort him." And then instead of comforting you, he seems to be in conflict of some kind himself. I think the awkwardness was 100% his, and that the reason was his own secret, which he wanted to reveal and was afraid to reveal.I prefer to think my wife was right and he was just trying to make me feel comfortable because I was the only cross dresser there
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Oh really? I'm way too old for you and for Jenniferathome too, but I find you both wonderfully appealing, and I wouldn't hesitate to hit on either of you if it weren't for your apparently wonderful relationships with your spouses. In spite of the envy I confess to feeling about that, it does my heart good to see how you and your spouses embrace the lives you have together, including all the unique quirks and kinks of your identities and pleasures. Each of you is a good person making the best of your relationship with the person you love. This is what life is all about.Middle aged women don't get hit on all that much either. lol
What kills it is middle age.
Lori, that's so sweet, thank you.
Jen, maybe he wasn't hitting on you then. Maybe he was instead intrigued by what you do and has an unrealized wish to explore it himself. Touching your arm was the clincher though. If he hadn't touched it then it wouldn't have occurred to me he might be a trans-admirer. But on the other hand, maybe he's just a very touchy-feely type of person. I have one (female) friend who constantly touches the arms of the people she speaks to, which frankly I find mildly annoying.
Reine
Interesting observation. But I think the mode of relating that includes lightly touching the arms or hands of people one is speaking with is much more often a woman thing than a man thing. And that brings me back to the possibility that the guy has some kind of "feminine side" that he has not fully come to terms with, or that he might not even be fully conscious of. I'm stickin' with that theory.
As for annoying, if someone were doing that to me, I might be uncomfortable if it were a man (unless I were en femme), or if it were a woman I didn't find attractive. I'm not much of a touchy-feely person myself, but if an attractive woman were doing it to me, I'd love it. Might even love it if it were a fully en femme CDer.
Last edited by Lori Kurtz; 08-05-2016 at 02:29 PM.
Poor guy. I wonder if his ears are burning? There's always the chance that it was exactly what it seems like -- a friendly guy being friendly.
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
I don't know, but if he's still around send him to me in fl
I have to agree with Jillian and Tiff maybe he is one of us I too may have done the same
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
My brother does this. He touches my arm with one finger right at the time he's making a point, I suppose to make sure I'm listening. It's annoying, but I think it's so automatic that he is no longer aware he does it. Some people touch a lot, some don't.
O.M.G. if this person was an actual CDer, I am fairly certain being that they were not afraid to talk and be seen talking, somehow they would have clued Jennifer in to also being a dresser. It certainly isn't hard to do. Now, maybe this person is a wannabe dresser.... but even then, why the arm touch?? Guys don't do the arm touch to each other. And if they have zero sexual interest in a woman they aren't doing the arm touch to them either. There WAS some sort of interest. Now, this person may not have actually had intentions, but there was some sort of interest there.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
for our engagment day, my boyfriend now fiance and i got super dressed up, had our makeup done, wore heels and cute dresses. i wanted him to have a day he could be totally himself and nyc is the perfect place for that. we got hit on a lot. and i'm not the kinda girl that realizes when she's being hit on. i'm a plus sized girl so i always assume guys aren't into me. (which so isn't true btw). all summer really he has dressed a lot, and even wore a bikini to the beach a few weeks ago. so its becoming a common occurrence. i personally don't see him as a girl per-say when hes dressed, hes just my amazing bf. so kissing in public is no biggie, but sometimes i realize that people see as lesbians lol and sometimes that throws me off.
Well knowing guy's and all that historically they don't approach women or CD's just to find out what time it is, or ask directions.......or how much weight you can bench press
Despite what I have been saying for a while about Jennifer thinking she is just a dude in a dress, she is NOT just a dude in dress in many peoples eyes.(just saying)
On any given day she is probably among several of the best looking chic's in the room, the guy was interested in something or he would not have put forth the effort.
And FWIW most guys are not all hung up on age, they just want some action........
He probably was thinking about taking you to his place and rubbing warm oil all over your firm body or something...............but really we may never know his intentions
Way too Girly !I couldn't smell the smoke, and now I'll watch the flames
Out on Parole ......Woo Hoo
Lauri thats a good point we will never know his intentions.
I wouldn't mind a guy in his 30's or 40's coming up to me and chit chatting like that.
Gives you a chance to get to know him a little and him you.
How far you take it is up to you of course.
Pretty sure he knew you were a CD but it was sweet of him to make the effort to make you feel like a lady.
Last edited by Tracii G; 08-05-2016 at 09:35 PM.
You're an attractive transgender woman whose comfortable with the attention from cis-males interested in us...I've had very similar experiences the few times I've been out in public.
Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
For the first time, outdoors during the day:
http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg
Back in my college days I dressed and partied often. At one party, as usual, I was in one of my super short dresses, ridiculously impractical heels and shiny tan pantyhose. I was talking to a girl and standing near a guy who was sitting down. I felt a hand on my leg. It was the guy sitting near me. My first thought was to stop him but I didn't. I let him indulge himself. I had girls do this to me lots of times but this was the first time a guy did it to me. It felt just as good.
Reine, I am 62, but, back in my 30s and 40s, i hit on quite a number of middle age ladies, and dated some. No sex, just friendship clean dates. But, I have been rejected by quite a few, who said they no longer want to date, have had it with men. And, if i told them i CD, that was a real deal breaker. I have been turned down by quite a few middle age and older widows, and divorcees, and never marrieds. I found, that at the singles dances i went o for ten years, a LOT of guys were competing for older attractive ladies, and i had younger and older competition for them!! And a number of them got married! My sister is 68yo, but she never, ever liked boys or men to come near her. She almost had a stroke, when a boy hit on her! She, like a very few others, I have known were, and are still terrified of male attention. She will die alone. I will likely die all alone, too. So will many others. Jennifer, That guy may have been very shy, tried to overcompensate. Part of me would be flattered by something like that happening when in Alice mode, but a bit scary! I used to hang with an old eccentric church bachelor, and he always touched my arm. He was a control freak .Sorry i got off topic some.
Last edited by Alice Torn; 08-06-2016 at 05:56 PM.
Who knows, maybe hitting on you or maybe just really friendly and buzzed.
Whether he had the best intentions of inclusion or he's a trans-admirer, I'm wary of that touch and what it really might signify. Maybe I'm just cynical being a GG that lives in a huge city and has numerous not so great encounters with men all the time who feel like they are entitled to have access to my space. But given you had a more feminine exterior at the time I am skewed to think he just subconsciously felt more comfortable invading your space. Even if he had the best of intentions it's a subconscious thing. Sorry, if I sound so Debbie downer...it just seems really forward to me.
I've read all the comments up to #69. The only other possibility and it may be a long shot is he was an off duty police officer approaching you to see if you were going to solicit him for sex....prostitution bust.
I'm actually going with making you feel comfortable out and about as either a cross dresser or a transwoman. It may very well be he has a brother, cousin or close friend you is a cross dresser or a transwoman who feels awkward or insecure when out and about. Or, even a sister who is a transman. I don't think a totally straight guy would show such an interest with his buddies so close. If you were so close to be within ear shot of their conversation, and, did not hear joking or condescending words espoused, I think he was just being friendly. Maybe I'm being a little judgmental, but, I think you're going to run into more refined people at a wine bar than the local neighborhood beer hall.
I think most men and women looking to "hook up" make it really obvious real quick.
Yes, Jillian, it did not "feel" flirty but I have never been hit on before
Thanks Sherry! Yeah, if he was hitting me, he's really, really bad at it.
Not a chance Shayna. I was 3 to 5 feet from him and his friends the entire time.
Mutt, I think this is likely correct. But maybe, he wanted to and couldn't get the words out?
Tracii, he HAD to know. Just had to. He saw my face in full view under good lighting from 2 feet.
Not at all. Seemed weird to me too. It's interesting that you used the word "forward." As a guy, touching a woman is "forward." A woman touching a guy is flirting. A guy touching a cross dresser is just plain confusing
Stephanie, that first comment cracks me up. I'd be destitute if that was my job! No, no chance of this. As you surmised, a very upscale wine bar is not the place for this concern.
So, in the end:
1) Was he a fellow cross dresser? Maybe
2) Was he a tranny-chaser? Maybe
3) Was he just being nice? Maybe
4) Was he just touchy feely? Maybe
5) Did he think I was a cross dresser? Likely
6) Did he think I was a transwoman? Maybe but unlikely
Next time, if there is a next time, I will ask because I'm curious.
Never mind his ears burning - if he is a CD (whether in the mind or in deed) maybe he's on here reading this now!
Jen, the way you describe it, to me it sounds like others have said - a curious, or actual CD who saw a kindred spirit. Your description (the eyes, the arm) sounded like he was searching for kinship/affirmation. Maybe...
Glad it was a positive, if unresolved, experience.
Jemima x
Jemima, if he is a member here, he hasn't reached out to me and my Avatar is what he saw that night.
There's simply cis-men out there who are genuinely attracted to and interested in transgender woman. I've had open and transparent conversations with these men and they've readily admitted this to me.
Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
For the first time, outdoors during the day:
http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg
My thought was that he was either trying to hit on you or figure out what was going on or what you were in to.
My husband and I were at a club and some dude started rubbing on my CD'ed husband's leg - trying to be real coy about it. He didn't realize that I was the wife. Anyway, my husband backed off and I just considered the dude a pervert. Pervert continued to try to talk to my husband. Husband then introduced me to the pervert and the guy apologized and said that he was just a dirty, old man (I agree). Those type of men seem to think that if another man is in a dress, they are fair game for a funky time.
Last edited by char GG; 08-07-2016 at 10:34 AM.
