Yeah I agree with you. Even for us is hard to understand and I think I found the reason.
I've dealing with it for around 50 years.
My background is religious. I was a pastor.
So for me it was a strange deviation kind of perversion.
I tried to quit uncountable times, I Last the most 3 or 4 years without it but I never stop thinking about it.
It was after my findings about the truth of religion that I finally get the release of all pressure and even told to my wife the truth and finally found the freedom.
I'm not going to discuss here my findings about religion and my actual beliefs but I can say that the "moral" in our world is greatly infused and shaped but religion and its idea of good and evil, sin and holiness.
One example of it is that every human being knows that we exist thanks to our parents had sex (whoever that wasn't artificially incubated) but nobody talks openly about sex, you must be in an environment of 18 years older, and even there nobody wants to even imagine his or her parents having sex.
Even in this website we cannot show explicit pics or openly talks about our sexual experiences.
So my point is that our minds are so strongly preformed but some standards that are very old from a world moral that wants to cover what everybody knows but religion has forbiden.
Then our feelings about sexuality and gender are deviated but you keep thinking about it because is something that we can't control because is part of our "nature" that's what we are, men that love dressing as women, our feminine sense is stronger than other men. We are in different points of the rainbow of sexuality or gender.
Today we find from men that love dressing as a woman, others that love the same and like have sex with a man, man that likes have sex with these men dressing as woman, men that love dressing as woman and like woman and like cds too and have sex with them, men that want more than dress and get into hormones but keep their sexual organs, other that go to the SRS and viceversa, men that dont dress but like other men and are pasive, other like are other men but are tops, other that like other men and can be versatil, we fimd the same in the women world, so are all they perverts? Base on the moral they are, but do you feel a pervert?
I can say that in the slavery day and civil war for some it was normal, for others, they were ready to die for abolished it, today it's something we don't talk about it. It's ridiculous to talk, we don't need to talk about it.
The same is gonna happen in some more few years with LGBT. It's gonna be accepted for everybody as something normal but while that happens our minds will keep rejecting it, so my advice is to accept yourself, if you have the guts to tell at least your family or closer love ones is gonna help you and don't worry about the rest of the world.
I think that the worse can happen to a human being is to be on the dead bed regreting about the things that never did.
