Jacqueline,
We do have so many things in common, it's almost like reading my life story.
I'm not sure why we have so much fear of therapy/counselling, it's to help us so what's the problem ?
Part of it may be if you're in a DADT situation and you may end up on a road that may be incompatible with your partner and family.
I must admit I had many of those fears and it did nearly end in separation , the main point after gender counselling was that I was close to TS but on the male side of the line, OK I have GD but it's not the end of the World, if you know most of the other facts at least you can come to terms with it . At least you stop going around in destructive circles , my family all know now and I'm out socially meeting other members of the TG community. I accepted a compromise to keep my marriage and family together, it's not always easy but at least they all understand what I'm living with.
I wish you all the luck in the World for Tuesday, I have to admit I enjoyed my counselling it was so good to talk and feel the layers falling away and the true person begin to emerge. The problem I had was my wife didn't want to know, I had the problem and it was for me to sort it. I guess I knew the basic answers but coming from a professional mouth carried more weight when talking to my wife and family. The problem I had was trying not to make my wife look like my main obstacle to my CDing, I kept hitting that wall and had to find ways to work round it. That's how I deal with my CDing now, she doesn't want to know, so I have to work round her, it's not ideal , I would prefer it was different, so there does remain secrets and the inevitable lies.
