Quote Originally Posted by AllieSF View Post
Little steps help us move along to new adventures and milestones. One thing stuck out for me in your post. "My presentation wasn't at the top of my game, my makeup wasn't among the best I have done, ...". From the little I have seen from your pictures, which may or may not reflect on your normal going out presentation and makeup, I would say worry less about perfection. In particular with regards to makeup. Your lips are very defined and normally a darker color. Plus, you are an attractive women with a nice figure in those pics. I hardly ever see GG's with perfect makeup on their eyes and lips. Just do enough to blend in. Perfect eyes and lipstick make people want to stare. I stare when I see that too. Not out looking to see if I am seeing a trans person, but because that level of perfect is rare in the real world during the day at regular venues, like the coffee shop or stores and malls, I am staring at their beauty and figure, or there use of too much makeup for the venue.
It really is a catch-22 situation and its tough. I think about this all the time. "Is the amount of makeup I am wearing too much for what I am going out for?" and my answer is usually yes. The thing is, wearing less makeup is more natural and "blendable", but I also look less feminine. I rely on makeup to kind of mask as much as my masculinity as I can. There are a few outings I have had(with picture sets on my Flickr) where I went with a more subtle makeup look(less foundation/concealer, brown eyeliner, not much if any eye makeup on my lower lash line, lighter lip color), and I am not the biggest fan of those pictures, they make me cringe. I even stopped wearing my brown eyeliner because I didn't feel like it was feminizing my eyes enough and I would only see male in those pictures. I feel like I look better and more feminine when I am more heavy with my makeup, but at the same time, I may very well be overdone for simply going out to the mall or store. Yet, I think I prefer that to my lighter makeup looks, just because I would rather look overdone and more feminine than more appropriate and more masculine. I think I need to work on finding a middle ground. For this reason of blending in I have actually been wearing darker lip colors lately, since its fall and that's when women wear darker lip colors.

Quote Originally Posted by laurababe View Post
As for others staring? Seriously, if you make eye contact, quite a few (but perhaps not all) *will* stop! It's simple human nature, regardless if it's CD-related or not.

Otherwise, you're basically "giving permission" for them to continue looking, because they think you don't realize they are.
I actually don't mind getting stared at, I just don't want to be the punchline of a joke or a spectacle. If you want to stare at me because you read me male and are trying to figure it out, fine, just keep it quick and get on with it. I think I am just afraid of people staring at me because they think its funny or are looking at me as an object of ridicule. I think this is ultimately why I am afraid to make eye contact with starers, because me looking back at them would be me acknowledging that I am being stared at in the first place. By not looking at the starers, I am, in my mind, denying the fact I am being stared at. It's like I don't want to know I am being stared at, so I pretend in my mind its not happening and don't return the stare.

Quote Originally Posted by April Showers View Post
Congrats on the outing. the one thing i took from your story and am clinging to in hopes it works for me is your attitude to the attention you received. I will be going to a Christmas party in a couple of weeks, the entrance to the bar is right off the parking lot..... that's no problem but another girl from the forum and wife invited my wife and I up to their room(in the adjoining hotel) for a drink and chat before the party starts. This will entail walking through the hotel lobby and taking the elevator to their floor. This has me quaking in my heels, my wife laughed and said I can do it. On one level I really want to be able to walk with head held high and say I don't care on the other hand I know I'm going to be so nervous, but when I'm walking through that lobby I will think of you in that mall and hope I have a smile on my face like you did.
From my experience the first steps are always the hardest. Once I am going there is no stopping me, I just have to get going in the first place. It's like moving a big boulder. The hard part is getting it rolling, but once its rolling, its easy.