Good God (Goddess?), this topic makes me happy. I love how everyone is trying so hard to express their true selves, and express their feelings of offense or defensiveness without attacks. It makes me proud to be a small part of such a community.

After posting in the other thread about this yesterday, I thought about this for a while and came to a small realization about what I mean when I say I feel like a woman. For me, when I look in the mirror and see what looks more like a woman than my unadorned self, and feel good about it, I accept myself in that moment for being feminine. It borders on feeling like a woman, but there tends to be a little something missing. However, when I am presenting fem with others whom I consider to be women, and they accept me in the same way, that validation definitely makes me feel like a woman in that moment. It turns out that no matter how much I like the high heels and lipstick, those are not the actual things that create the feelings. They are simply ways for me to accept myself as fem, which in turn gives me the ability to let myself be accepted as fem by others, which creates a "feeling like a woman" moment.

Reine, I've always appreciated your wisdom and reason on this forum. I found your comment about GGs never really "feeling happiness because they look like women" compelling - it resonates with things my wife has told me as well. However, modifying your car example, can I propose something that I think may be a related feeling? Say that when you picked up the battery for the car at the automotive store you'd been treated in a chauvinistic way, as if women shouldn't be able to change a battery. This would reinforce the social norms we all have learned to loathe and could degrade you self worth. But if, instead, you'd been treated very professionally and had your opinions validated - perhaps even in ways you though no one ever would - perhaps in that moment you'd feel validated and, perhaps after a lifetime of experiences of degradation, you might wonder if this is what a man feels like. And having that validation repeated would reinforce that. You don't think you're a man, but being given the power and acceptance of one might evoke certain feelings that you'd associate with maleness. And, the freedom to express yourself as a man might also happen...

I dunno, just a thought.

TL;DR - For me, acceptance as a woman, either by myself or by others, is what I think I mean when I say "I feel like a woman."

- Sandra