Don't want to be a man anymore, do you ?

[Sara Jessica]

Please hear us! When you make it a choice then you give the world the power to tell us that it is the wrong choice. I will defend your right to wear a dress as long as you defend my struggle to exist.

Really??? So this is what it comes down to? My "choice" not to transition doesn't mean a thing with respect to the decision you make to transition. The Muggles who lack respect for what we have endured our entire lives do not weigh my decision against yours in choosing to be utterly dismissive of the trans condition. They already don't believe a thing we know to be true. My "choice" matters nothing. Many still see us as being some degree of mentally ill. I beg to differ. I know otherwise.

Honestly, I'm tired of walking on eggshells around the trans women who dismiss anyone who doesn't follow their path. You know nothing of what I have gone through in my life. You know nothing of what it takes for me to cope with my decision NOT to transition. Do you ever think for a moment that perhaps my existence is a charade? A coping mechanism? Or that of others like me? Are we strong for toughing it out as dudes or do we flirt with the wrong end of a barrel or bottle of pills? Do we self-medicate with prescription drugs or otherwise? Perhaps alcohol abuse to help us get through yet another day after day after day when we are not living as honestly, as authentically as the trans-community expects of us?

Oh, that's right...we are just playing dress-up.

The world knows nothing of my pain and in return, it knows absolutely nothing with respect to any relation of my pain to your transition. You need not worry yourself of such things.

It's about time you understand the pain you inflict on others with the narrative you prescribe. I understand you. I empathize with you. I envy you. I respect you more often than not. But let's get off this soapbox which dictates who is more holier-trans-than-thou. When all is said and done, you know nothing of what many of us go through who for whatever VALID reason do not follow YOUR path. In all honesty, my counsel to Teresa (bringing this full circle to the OP) is to do what she can to find balance in her life in order to save her marriage and family, assuming this is not at the expense of her sanity.

Said solution is not an indicator one way or the other as to her degree of trans-ness as measured by people who matter zilch in her day to day life.

<end/rant>