The problem with the "if she really loves me" thing is WHO she fell in love with, or thought she did. If we are fully honest with someone in the beginning, but they decide later on that in order to stay with them we must stop, or change, then yeah, maybe the love argument holds more water.
When WE are dishonest about who we really are, we married or are with a committed partner under false pretenses. They married or committed to the person we projected. WE change that and when they have serious issues about it, it isn't from a lack of love, but from our lack of honesty.