It interests me how many expressed the idea of being boxed in by my proposal that we affirm that we are men.

I think folks may have missed the idea that is included, which is that we would also be redefining what it means to be a man can mean. This ought, in my view, to eliminate the need not to appear to be a man.

I notice this feeling in myself when I look like what I like to call a Civil War Veteran- craggy rough hewn older bearded man look- it has deep associations for me and my version of dysphoria then is that my body does not 'look' anything like I want it to look. Of course, it is my body, so the reality is that someone who looks 150 years old can feel very girly and want to be wearing girly clothes and be appreciated as a non-female girl.

If I don't look in the mirror, I have no trouble! I am a man, I am happy to feel free and feminine, and I just want others to accept that.

I think it is safe to say that trying to look like a woman, if you can, is fun and desirable, since it is the least energy solution and avoids the dissonance of not 'looking like' a woman. However, this creates problems for everyone who can't pass, and in the end, that is most of us. I can understand that most members probably feel that playing by the rules is usually the best course, and the rule here is that if you want to feel feminine or partake in women's culture, you have to at least try to look like a woman, so you are not perceived as trying to upset the gender role apple cart.

I admit that upsettig the apple cart seems like a good idea to me, since it not only frees us to redefine manhood, but it frees women as well to redefine womanhood, and the end goal is that everyone can do what they feel is most appropriate for ther psyche and find partners who resonate with them.

I secretly hope that this also would then eliminate a lot of dysphoria, since the strict rule that manhood or womanhood means X would no longer hold, and our brothers and sisters would be free to be what they feel. So many today look down and don't like what they see - because it looks wrong, and/or limits them, . If everyone was free, then looking down is just looking down, and you see yourself and like yourself because you like how you feel and express yourself.

So much of what we learn as children about gender is rule-based, with punishment for breaking the rules. But if the rule is to be yourself, masculine or feminine or fluid, whatever your biological sex, then things are a lot better for everyone. It is the kind of rule no one would break- therefore no punishment.

At least try to imagine - what if seeing a man in a dress was normal? We would have to look deeper and see how he was acting and what his interests were. It really would just mean that we would have a much broader and more accurate sense of the diversity of men.