Imma big Chicken

[Sometimes Steffi]

One thing you could do is drown the chicken in a shot of liquid courage, you know, whisky, bourbon or scotch.

Or better yet, just pretend you've had a shot of liquid courage and just do it.

The charge of the light brigade

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
“Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns!” he said.
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

For example. The first time I did a pedicure, I planned it like a military operation. I researched salons. I checked them out on Google maps. I did recon. I did a drive by to make sure that people walking by couldn't see me inside the salon. Found a place to park my car so I could walk from the salon to my car without being seen.

A soon as the op was a go, it started going south. The parking spots in front of the salon were taken, so I had to park further away. I drove around for a while, and then just picked the best one available. I had an appointment, the last one of the day. I didn't want to screw up the op because I missed the starting off time. I went into the salon. Oh no! Collateral damage. When I got inside, there was a 10 y.o.girl in there with her mom. Maybe she won't see me, and the mom won't care. It comes time to paint the nails. I'm shaking so much, the nail tech can't even paint the nails. I go back to my training. I take a few relaxing breaths to stop the shaking and the op is back on. Success. The toenails are painted. Head to the drying station and then successful exfil to the car.

Mission was a success. Toes painted with Revlon's "Cherries in the Snow". They are more beautiful than I even imagined. All the stress was so, so worth it. When's my next mission?

Don't laugh girls. This is my story, and I'm sticking to it. And it's true, but maybe I did get a little PTSD, because I still remember it in detail over 10 year later.