I asked her what's so bad about dressing, she said it's a big turn off.
That is understandable. You would be turned off by a wife with a mans haircut, hairy armpits and legs, and dressing mostly in men clothes.
Many of the problems I read here involve CDers who want to dress in front of their wife and kids, and run around the house in a dress and heels. In many cases, a wife or SO might agree to a DADT situation, if she doesn't have to see it. Half a loaf, is better than no loaf!