Leanne,
I just posted a thread about the subject of "coming out", being honest, and the horrible consequences of doing the right thing. (and it was deleted by the monitors for reasons I can't yet fathom; something about "Leaving Thread Not Allowed."
It has cost me, or very nearly cost me, my marriage over the last year since coming out. When I did it, The Wife told me straight up that it changed our relationship forever. I had no clue how right and how far that might go.
Honesty and openness is indeed the best and only policy in life. I kept my secret for a long time, but it had to come out. Just don't fool yourself into thinking (as is the case with many Members' stories) that the spouse is going to be genuinely understanding or accepting. Sometimes they lack the capacity to understand the one thing that makes sense to you. They just can't do it.
I put away all my Ilene things today. It hurt. It hurt deeply, and will continue to hurt. A human being can't just cut off a part of themselves and not expect to bleed. At this moment, I'm crestfallen. I don't know if Ilene can live again back in the closet.
