Leonal -- you may be getting two different concepts confused. There's gender/presentation and there's attraction. It sounds like you have them all wrapped up around each other. Crossdrdessing will not validate an attraction toward men nor will being with men validate a desire to crossdress. If both of these things are natural to you, that's fine, you're not alone. But if you're doing either one because you think it's expected of you, then it's not going to work out well. It doesn't really matter what other people do or have done, you need to get an answer that works for you. I'm a big fan of therapy for working things out and that would be my first suggestion since it sounds like you're having a lot of anxiety about this.
