Haha yes Becky this has been mentioned before. I don't have a first name for my alto ego. Even when I do I think I will naturally adopt 'Secret' as the Surname. I think it has a nice ring to it e.g Miss Mindy Secret (Mindy was a name I thought about for a little while).Originally Posted by Becky Blue
MissSeret,
I recently came out to my wife as well. Although she is excepting, she is still processing and coming to terms with it.
That being said, if I were in your situation, I would not dress in secret or behind her back so to speak. It’s my opinion that if you do, her being able to absorb all of this could totally back fire on you. Even tho she knows now, being sneaky with your urge to dress could very well be dishonesty in her eyes (provided she found out you were secretly dressing). Trust me, I definitely understand that urge to dress. I think we all do. Us CD’ers have to remember that we have been doing what we do for many, many years. Our wives or SO’s are just now being brought into our world (for some of us). So they need time to wrap their heads around things. I believe that being honest (not sneaky) and doing our best to stay out of that “pink fog” will go a long way with her being more excepting.
At the moment, my wife chooses to be in the DADT group. It’s a huge relief to me that she knows now and I have the feedom to be Stephanie. However, I can’t let Stephanie take over. Would I love to be en femme majority of the time? Hell yes!! But, I love my wife of almost 22 years now very much. She is still my priority, not Stephanie. My advise would be to not let Miss Secret take over. Just imagine that little kid that walked into Disney World for the first time. They are overwhelmed with so many things all at once. I think our wives or SO’s just walked into Disney World for the first time.
Anyway, not sure if this is helpful or even makes any sense, but good luck.
Well it's not what we prefer to do but for myself when I don't get opportunity in the home for a while, a drive dressed is to me a sense of relief and satisfaction. As long as your wife knows the risk is less because in case an emergency she wouldn't be totally shocked. A fender bender can easily happen and in case of a flat or something you can put your male clothes back on. I only suggest you do it because I do it now and then, and if you read my last few threads, (Warning) its highly addictive.
Last edited by Maria 60; 11-22-2017 at 05:39 AM.
Firstly can I say I understand the Colossus undertaking in choosing to tell your wife. It's such an emotional thing to do for both of you and I can only hope you get the outcome your looking for.
The reason I have quoted this part of your message (and thank you btw) is that having told my wife I haven't got this opportunity. I'm in a limbo of having told the biggest secret in my life but with no outcome... Good or bad. We have talked, but there is no clear message other than she doesn't think she can deal with it. (She has told one other person with my blessing so she hasn't to burden this on her own).
Having released this major part of my life I can't just now box it all back up and wait patiently until something never happens...
I'm not going to go prancing round the house 24hrs a day however I'm currently being told if it's done in the house she will feel uncomfortable and that is not fair on her.
I'm possibly feeling more lost and isolated than I did before I came out. The only solice is I no longer feel like I'm lying to her.
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