I agree with others that this is kind of a tired subject, but I'm going to take a different swing at it. Mind you, this is my take on it and I understand that I may be the only one on the planet like this.

I was married for 30 years. Straight as a... pick your favorite straight thing. At least as far as I knew. I certainly had no attraction to men. However, in retrospect, was I as straight as I thought? I've been around enough men looking at nude or scantily clad women in pics or (the few) strip clubs to know that I didn't (don't) get as worked up over that as a lot of men do. Now, I know how I respond to that, but I really have no way of knowing what the next guy over feels except to assume that his reaction is genuine, and that would indicate this his reaction was much stronger than mine ever was. Still, not a problem. Not only did I consider myself straight, but I was not a cheater. Maybe one reason it was so easy for me to keep from cheating (which seems difficult for many) is that I wasn't as highly heterosexually motivated as other men.

Following this logic, imagine that your brain has a sexual component of a certain capacity. It can be filled 100% heterosexual, 100% homosexual, or some mixture of the two, but it has to be filled with something. I think my subdued reaction or attraction to a sexualized woman might just be an indicator that the sexual component of my brain wasn't 100% hetero. I never realized it when I was married and going through the motions of marriage, career, and family, but once those situations changed, other things started to change, too. Then there's also the wildcard of opportunity. Just being divorced after 30 years throws you for a loop. You change in a lot of ways, or at least parts of your personality come out that had been hidden or restrained. You're inclined to experiment with a lot of things that you couldn't or wouldn't have before. In my case I had a lot of Southern Baptist upbringing to overcome.

I don't think I was as straight as I always thought I was. Nor was I gay and hiding it. A big deal is made around here about your sexuality not changing over time. I don't agree, but let's say that's true. I'm certainly acknowledging and living the gay aspect of my personality or sexuality, where before it was completely overshadowed by life and a gratifying hetero experience.

I think with me anyway another thing that happens is you spend so much time and effort over the course of many years not only wearing women's clothes, but being out and about trying for all you're worth to live at least that part of your life as a woman. With me anyway, I spent an inordinate amount of what should have been male time living and appearing as a feminized version of me. It stands to reason, again in my case, that there'd be a bit of drift.

On this board we have the rigidly straight camp, the gay camp, and anyone who is not completely in one camp or the other is suspect, insincere, fantasizing, hiding, or lying. Why is that? BTW, back when I thought I was so completely straight I never even once fantasized about being with a man. I think we ought to leave a little room for movement away from strictly gay or straight. I don't think it's nearly that cut and dried.