Alice,
Thanks for sharing.
Yes..... I read your other post(s) along in this thread. My heart goes out to you too, dear. How crushing to wish to be with the family you created, and have them reject you in any manner. While I love my kids dearly, there's a lot of times I feel they are ungrateful (to me AND my wife).
It was one thing for my wife to be angry based upon her own feelings, but when I learned how The Family (MY KIDS!??) were talking behind my back, and even asking me to not come to some family events..... it hurt deeply. I think that was the thing that threw me over the edge into the pit (despondent, depressed).
So Alice, you are walking in my shoes too. And PLEASE.... no more suicide gestures. Listen.... I believe many of us entertain the notion of "...if only I weren't here suffering". My solution was to just get out of HERE. My therapist said that was a very, very bad tactic and please don't use it. But the other option for getting out is not right either.
I tell you with all my heart, Alice. This forum and the wise friends I have here are like Living Gold. So precious. The experiences, perspectives and understanding compassion of my Sisters literally rode to my rescue. Don't ever downplay the value to coming to this seemingly "anonymous'' bulletin board. I know we don't "intimately" know each other or share great details of our lives or our time beside one another. But the girls here know and understand The Life. You know you will always have great advice and a digital hand to hold in times of distress.
Hugs. Be well. We are all recovering from something it seems. (PS: Do you live in Kansas City? Something about the Midwest tag made me think about it; being an old KC person myself.)
