Over the years I have come to the realization that yes, I want to be a woman, but my circumstances have always prevented it, my family, my wife, my job, my fear.
I think that I am somewhat different than most on this forum in that I don't have any desire to be sexual with women (or other CD or Trans people) while en femme. My fantasies for a long time always have me as the woman and I am with a man, whether the fantasy is sex, family, love, whatever...
Were it not for those ties (& fears, although the fears have diminished with age), I would proceed in a heartbeat, it is a difficult & maddening situation as I am over 50 and my 'passable' time is ticking by every day.
I have recently started seeing a therapist for my crossdressing/feelings and talked about it and she is supportive, one of my concerns I related to her is that I honestly felt this way 25 years ago, but was afraid to tell anyone (including the therapists I was seeing for depression/suicidal thoughts at the time). As I look back, had I had the courage to move forward then, I might be in a much different situation now. What I am afraid of is am I going to think the same thing in another ten years???
