Women marry men because they see a strong provider for their family first off.
A man to protect her and the kids.
Also for sexual gratification.
Love is the last thing on the list, if it were the first thing none of the rest would matter as much.
You the CDer have a wife that kind of accepts or just isn't sure and you parade out in fetish gear.What you have done is blown every image of you in her mind.
Everything she ever saw in you is now subject to question and she may even be mad at herself for marrying you in the first place because right now it looks like huge mistake.
Its always more than you think it is because you think like a man and not a woman.
Women are way more complex when it comes to issues of the heart.