Ok Katie, Got it. Put the ball in her court. We are having another nails, makeup night soon, and last time I asked about a wig to finish the look, this time I guess she might say something. I will go with "i'm curious but not if it makes you uncomfortable". Thing is, what happens then? She will undoubtably want to know if this is something I like. Do I say yes or ask her opinion again? What do I say if she says she dont like it?
Gina...sounds like you are going at a million miles an hour and you need to slow down. While it can be confusing with how your wife is acting, as you say, she may be testing the waters to see how much you have really confessed to actually doing. She is allowing Gina to come into the house, sharing time together, and you must take control and just do as she says. Please don't try to push and see how much you can have, because in the end, that could backfire....as you said, you know that one false move and the whole relationship could collapse. You must remember to allow your wife to process and experiment at her own speed, not yours, no matter how much it bothers you. To this day, I still get mixed messages from my wife every once in a while, and have to dial it back ....
Had another chat. It seems that she is ok with most things, but does not want me to dress fully as a woman. Now what?Originally Posted by Maria in heels
Welcome to the Forum!
I would now back off and only do what she offers - stop pushing. Enjoy what you have or risk losing it all.
When she sees you are still a man to love and the wigs don't change you, other than a short period, then she will be willing to suggest more as a way to thank you for how appreciative you have been to her wants and desires (hint hint)
Hugs, Ellen
Hi again Gina,
Many others have advised to slow it down. This is just my suggestion but since, as you say, she is ok with most things, dress to the level that she is ok with. If I understand correctly, she is still new to all of this. Maybe after a few months, she may re-evaluate. If you keep pushing to "dress fully as a woman", at this point, you just might be coming across as a child who keeps begging for a new toy in the store. Usually the answer is "not now, maybe later".
Thanks Ellen,
I will back off. Got to I think.
She is doing my nails and makeup soon, she is bound to ask if I want to try a wig on, we have several never used. Do I say no, or reluctant yes so long as its only for a laugh or something along those lines?
Xx
Your wife is displaying a reaction that is very common with acceptance. She is swallowing a little bit at a time so don't try to go too fast and cause her to change direction. The fact that you picked out 4 wigs and she was OK with it and then you went ahead and picked out two more is an example of trying to go too fast. Give her some time, it seems like she's handling this pretty well and with an open mind.
Thanks Diane, good advice.
So in effect, I back off and dont ask for any more. But my worry now is she will suggest more, like why dont you try a wig, thats bound to happen. Do I resist that suggestion and say lets wait, or I'm not ready for that. Or do I seem reluctant, wait for her to say try it, and then see what happens?
I can only reverberate what some others have said. Go with the minimum you require and don't push too hard or expect your partner to be accepting when you come out in full dress, it's not what will happen mostly!
Just go slow and be honest, see where it leads to?
Stacy!
STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
Stop breathing imagine none of this is real
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel
To keeep the ball rolling, ONLY do as much as your SO asks.
You will find this works well and you will progress.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I think what any cross dresser has to be wary of with his wife is taking on the personna of a woman. From your narrative it appears you and her are fairly liberal in the bedroom. No explanation needed, but,that suggests to me she is a woman who is willing to explore. But, is there a point when she will hit a wall? Hard to tell until you get there. From your description of 'playful' activities; partial dressing and makeup, that may be construed by her to be playful, 'kinky.' What will happen when you get to being fully en femme; wig, makeup, dress, hosiery and heels. Will you male personna be totally lost?
My personal experience was along that line. My wife when first married was adventurous. Ultimately, we shopped together for long nylon nightgowns for me and hosiery/garter belt. It was 'fun' in the sense of something 'kinky' with benefits for both of us. However, there was no loss of male personna. Just a little kink and love of nylon. It hit the fan when she found a vivid red Vanity Fair bra I had bought. That was her 'wall.' She "could not understand why a man who has nothing to pack into a bra would want to wear a bra?" Almost her exact words. Then came "The Talk." She had no interest with being with a woman. If she wanted to be with a woman she would have chosen a woman, and, not some pseudo woman. Wearing anything feminine quickly became a non starter because the thought of me adopting some sort of female personna was too much for her.
Perhaps, there will be a point when your wife hits a wall. I related several time when men I know were made up and dressed up by their wives for a Halloween party. In oth cases it was the wife's idea, and, to my knowledge neither man has ever displayed any desire to take it further. Definitely my father-in-law did a one time affair.
The best advice is to let your wife lead. She may take it further than she ultimately can accept, and, then want to back off. Maybe for a while. Maybe for good. I think the real issue for a woman is whether she is willing to let the male personna become subservient to a female personna when looking at her husband.
Gina, I have to agree with the others, slow it down a bit. For one thing you are very lucky to have a wife that has supported you this far, it is all new to the both of you. If she wants to move it ahead a little let her take the lead and go one step at a time...enjoy what you can while you can,,Hugs
Stephanie, I think you have hit the nail on the head there. She said exactly that about a bra too, and we have already the talk about not wanting to be with a woman. Thanks to all the advice on here I have decided to back off and take the acceptance level I already have. I think it may actually be dangerous to put on a wig in front of her. That will probably be the wall you refer to. After all, its only the wig that really transforms a man into a woman IMO. It would be foolish for me to push it now, in fact I have even considered backing off completely for a while for her to process all this. Its difficult of course. So as every has suggested I will let her lead on stuff. She seems quite happy with pantyhose and makeup, which is more than I could ever have hoped for. Why spoil it by pushing for more? As I'm sure somone said, it was the tortoise that won the race. Very apt I think.
Two question for youb if I may?
Firstly, assuming I can control the pink fog and not ask for anymore, should I actually decline an offer of more from her?
And secondly, are you still with your wife, and what does she allow now?
Thanks !!!
